It's blatant voyeurism, and I admit it freely.
He doesn't seem to mind, he actually basks in his nakedness, finding a freedom and a glory that is just impossible when he's fully clothed. Even if I'm not watching him, he takes pleasure in running out of the shower or bedroom, buck-naked and doing some sort of primal "man dance" he's created in order for me to squeal in delight.
I watch him openly...coming into the bathroom while he showers...under the pretense of telling him something that can't wait till he's done. But he just smiles and soaps up slowly and does a careful rendition of his "man-dance" so he doesn't fall and bust his head in our slippery shower.
And I stare and smile, since my husband is quite beautiful, and quite different than me: with his muscular form and his smooth, milk-white skin that is so different than my chestnut brown. Perhaps, most of all I love his "you're looking at me!" water soaked smile.
I also like watching him covertly...when he doesn't realize I'm there.
I like hearing him sing...hearing him make up little songs...made up entirely of my name...and I like hearing him beatbox...which is the twitch-like hobby he engages in whenever he's transitioning from one activity to another. It's very cute to hear him, and I wonder: Where did he learn this?
It gives me a secret thrill to peek through the slightly cracked door, that I know he leaves open, hoping I'll take a peek. It's not like Marcel Duchamp's "Etant donne"...with it's suggested violence....even though I did like that piece. Seeing someone else naked...just isn't the same...it's like porn. Porn has it's place...in adolescence...or when you want something spicy, or when you want to learn more love moves...
But watching my husband shower is intimate beyond words...that I'm allowed in his steam filled bubble, while he's at his most vulnerable...where he's comfortable to just let me in...is very special to me.
Last night he called, in the middle of one of his made up songs: "Why don't you come in? You know I miss you most when I shower...."
I came in and kissed him, then went into the kitchen.
Gotta keep him guessing (wink)