A Sweet Baby Shower: for our Little Principessa!

Photo via Curlz

So my mom and my aunt are planning a couple’s baby shower for my husband and I. 

(Why a couple's shower? Well, why should I have to be alone? We're in this together. Plus, why should my husband be left out? He gave our daughter 1/2 her chromosomes!)

I think it’s really sweet of them to want to do this.

My mom is all for my putting in my two cents because she knows I LOVE planning and that I don’t get to do much of it.

If I could have the baby shower of my dreams, it would be as elegant and lovely, as was our wedding. Hello, I want my LIFE to be as elegant and lovely as our wedding! And it actually is. :)

But for the Baby Shower:

I’d like the colors to be pink and gold. 

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Not a garish and shiny gold, but a soft champagne hue. 

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And not a vomit-inducing bubblegum pink, but that you’d find while walking a secret garden in Paris.

It’d be nice if there could be some fresh roses. There wouldn't have to be many, just one bunch would do. I adore flowers, especially roses. 

I’d also love to make some treats for the Baby Shower:

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I'd love to make macarons! I doubt they'd be as sumptuous as Laduree's, but I'd try and hopefully get pretty close!

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And cupcakes with pearls! I don't even like sweets! But I'm sure they'd be yummy.  And Husband would appreciate them. I'd just love to look at them.  That's why I love him. He never tells me that I'm "over the top" or "weird" or "extravagant;" he truly sees me as special and a work of art; "unique in all the world."

I'd like there to be fun games at the party too! 

And other yummy foods, like pizza! Salad! Fruit Salad! Water! and caffeine free Coca-Cola!

And of course presents! Which everyone will have thoughtfully picked from our registry or at least kept a receipt so we could take back their gift if it was not our style or not up to safety standards.

Below are some decor ideas that I’ve collected, which I really like. Hope you enjoy them!

Source Unknown

Source Unknown

Source Unkown

Decor by Blair Britt Events

Decor by Blair Britt Events

Decor by Blair Britt Events

Decor by Blair Britt Events

Decor by Paula of Frog Prince Paperie

Do you like my shower ideas???

I like watching my husband shower....

It's blatant voyeurism, and I admit it freely.

He doesn't seem to mind, he actually basks in his nakedness, finding a freedom and a glory that is just impossible when he's fully clothed. Even if I'm not watching him, he takes pleasure in running out of the shower or bedroom, buck-naked and doing some sort of primal "man dance" he's created in order for me to squeal in delight.

I watch him openly...coming into the bathroom while he showers...under the pretense of telling him something that can't wait till he's done. But he just smiles and soaps up slowly and does a careful rendition of his "man-dance" so he doesn't fall and bust his head in our slippery shower.

And I stare and smile, since my husband is quite beautiful, and quite different than me: with his muscular form and his smooth, milk-white skin that is so different than my chestnut brown.  Perhaps, most of all I love his "you're looking at me!" water soaked smile.

I also like watching him covertly...when he doesn't realize I'm there. 
I like hearing him sing...hearing him make up little songs...made up entirely of my name...and I like hearing him beatbox...which is the twitch-like hobby he engages in whenever he's transitioning from one activity to another. It's very cute to hear him, and I wonder: Where did he learn this?

It gives me a secret thrill to peek through the slightly cracked door, that I know he leaves open, hoping I'll take a peek. It's not like Marcel Duchamp's "Etant donne"...with it's suggested violence....even though I did like that piece.  Seeing someone else naked...just isn't the same...it's like porn. Porn has it's place...in adolescence...or when you want something spicy, or when you want to learn more love moves...

But watching my husband shower is intimate beyond words...that I'm allowed in his steam filled bubble, while he's at his most vulnerable...where he's comfortable to just let me in...is very special to me.

Last night he called, in the middle of one of his made up songs: "Why don't you come in? You know I miss you most when I shower...."

I came in and kissed him, then went into the kitchen.

Gotta keep him guessing (wink)

~*~*~Imogen~*~*~

The Amish...and my long awaited decision

(above image is the property of Bill Coleman, of http://amishphoto.com)


You most likely don't know this...and probably would never guess...but

I LOVE Amish culture.

I love their sustainable lifestyles, their familial communities, their spiritual dedication, and in my most private thoughts, I often fantasize about living in an Amish Community.

Is that odd? For an urban Brown-skinned girl to want to give up the trappings of modernity to return to the land, bake bread, pickle, darn & spin yarn? I don't rightly know since I haven't REALLY shared my love of Amish culture with anyone besides my Husband...who does find my infatuation a bit cute, if not totally off the wall.

But when I talk to my family about the Amish and how I admire their ability to work the land and live simply...I begin to get the look I've gotten since childhood...a look that basically says...
"You're really strange...aren't you?"

Then I'm belittled AGAIN for the fact that I don't have a television. And they talk about what they cannot live without: televisions, xbox, wii, etc. It's as if the trappings of popular culture have stopped up their ears so completely that they can't see past the newest item of interest...to get at what really matters: family,love, spirituality & peace.


But my love for Amish Culture and (and really my love for)the Culture of Simplicity has been steadily growing.

I've been enchanted by the Amish since I was a child. I remember my grandparents took me to Amish country once. It wasn't far away, but I'm sure they thought a "Modern Child" wouldn't want to go and see such simple things, so they only took me once or twice. But I was enamored with that magical place, time seemed to have been gentler to...where buggies bounced down roads to the "clip, clop" of horse hooves, where shops were friendly...but didn't practically twist your arm to buy. Where the produce was fresh and bountiful.

The first time I encountered Amish people close-up, was when I was very young and I went to a local amusement park with my family. I was a wee little thing and so we spent a fair amount of time at the petting zoo. There I saw a man, woman, and children dressed in dark clothes. They stuck out a bit, not because they were mean or odd;...they just had an air about them that said the only things that were visible to them were the baby animals on display.
Years later, in college I remember being hysterically happy to see the rare buggy trot past.


It hadn't occurred to me that I was enamored by the Amish, dazzled by their simple garb and...their simple, quiet ways.
Their quiet, spoke to something inside of me...it awoke some unknown desire within me for peace, open spaces, community, spirituality and love. Although, it's just now that I'm able to see that.

Within the last 5 years...I've sensed a change in myself, moving from wanting to be in Paris...ALL THE TIME to wanting a place of my own.


I want to homestead...to dive my hands into fertile Mother Earth and plant roots.

WOW. That's a big step for me. Actually getting my intention out into the Universe...to make it real more real.

Yes. I AM BECOMING A HOMESTEADER.

With my Husband, I would like:

A fairly large piece of LAND

A large yet cozy HOME for our large family (we hope!)

I also want a few COWS

A couple of SHEEP

Two or three CHICKENS

I want to GROW our own food

MAKE all our meals (except when I want something fancy)

and make some of our clothes.

I want to be thrifty (already accomplished)

Fashionable (check there too! Most of the time)

And independent (working on it)

I still want to be chic and informed and dress nicely...after I've milked our cows, fixed breakfast, ect. I still want to be a hot classy wife....


My Husband and I think a lot of people are feeling this pull to go back to nature...not to "go back to simpler times" but to become a simpler, more wholesome people.


Many MANY things have influenced this decision: from the horrors in the news, poor food at the grocery store, high prices for produce, and just feeling distant from the land. I've been influenced by visiting local farms, and locally owned/produced markets, small towns, and reading Mother Earth News, thepioneerwoman.com's everyday adventures and also going back to Amish country to feel such a wholeness settle into my bones...a deep-sung happiness that I've never found within the confines of the city.

And while my Husband and I both enjoy the pleasures the city has to offer...we do feel as though it separates us from our Humanity sometimes... ceaseless traffic, lung-clogging pollution, petty crimes, violent crimes, uncaring neighbors, fast-food with no indication of the actual animals and vegetables it comes from, the indescribable rudeness of strangers, the abject poverty, the proudly insensitive...

I have been preparing myself, slowly but surely for this huge change...designing a food garden for our flat's small patio, which will hopefully supplement, if not provide all our fruits and vegetables this autumn (fingers crossed).

And since last year I've been honing my skills at making homemade, hand-kneaded bread...loving the work and artistry that goes into every loaf.

:) I'll be the first to admit I have a long way to go.

But In the words of one of my favorite songs:

"Hey come along and join the fun...."


Question: Do you ever think about leaving the city behind and homesteading?




Disclaimer:
I freely admit, I have a wonderful rose colored view of Amish life, and I know there are many hardships in that community, as in every other; from domestic violence to abuse. I just wanted to say I do really enjoy reading about Amish Culture and visiting Amish country, and I appreciate and admire their sustainable way of living with the Earth.

An Insulting Racial Compliment

Basically what I wore today

Bonjour Mes Chères,

I'd just like to share with you what happened today:

My husband and I went to an environmental conference today, which was very inspiring and actually helped solidify what I want to actually talk about in my blog (in addition to my everyday adventures and such)!

But before I get to that: at the end of the conference, we left the center, which was held in the downtown of our area and proceeded to cross the street. We were very happy, since my husband had just asked to carry my books, and I'd asked him to marry me again.

We then paused at the curb, hand-in-hand, as we saw two young Black men on a bike, coming down the street. We both smiled slightly and were going to go about our way, when one of the young men said:

"Don't ya got any friends your OWN complexion?! With cha cute ass..."

And proceeded to pedal away.

My husband and I were both a little stunned... gave each other the expression of "Huhhh?" And laughed out of shock. I said something, but then noticed that my Sicilian had taken on a stony expression behind his aviators and now had a very angry red face. He was also smiling...but there was nothing funny about his smile.

Then I blurted to my husband..."well, I AM cute!" and we proceeded to cross the street.

I have to admit, I was a bit scared my husband would run after the guys, but I'm glad he didn't.

I also have to say, I have conflicting feelings:

It was flattering that the offensive young man thought me cute: because it shows women don't need to dress trampy to look very attractive. I was completely covered from head to toe in my outfit, and with my black wool coat on: I was even more conservative, wearing a light blue 50s's style dress with black stockings underneath. I also wore loose, black, calf boots that are more country than city slicker. My hair was down and curly (not the socially normal/expected relaxed hair) with a chic scarf and I had on my little white gloves. And I also had a smile...that is, until boy-wonder on the bike spoke.


Now for the offensive part.

I was very upset and STUNNED that this youth felt he had the right to insult both me, my husband, and our sacred relationship. Not that he could tell that we're married, but whatever happened to respecting your elders? Or minding your own business? Or "If you don't have anything nice to say: keep it to yourself?"

What should we have done?
Yelled after him? And yelled what?
(no super macho or dummy comments like: "I would have knocked him off his bike!" My husband doesn't believe in violence, unless it's for defense. He wants to be Jesus' Homeboy)

What COULD we have done?
(We're adults. We're not in the same culture of "low class" where it's ok to hurl insults to strangers...and in my opinion...people of ANY race or income bracket can be a card-carrying member of the "culture of low/no class")

I guess I could have yelled: "Yes, but he's my husband!" Or "yes, they're called family!" But to be honest, I was stunned, and I'm not very quick with comebacks unfortunately.

You MAY be surprised to hear, but after almost 10 years together...this is our first confrontation with blatant verbal interracial dating criticism/bashing.

And we've lived in the Northeast AND the Midwest.

In the Midwest, people are mostly just curious to see us together.

While in the Northeast, I have to say that while the people weren't outright hostile, they did make vile assumptions behind our backs. While my Sicilian worked at a boarding school in the Northeast, I would come to visit, I sometimes got knowing--condescending smirks from the teachers and insinuating comments from the students; as if I were some sort of slutty woman, when in fact:

I WAS A VIRGIN UNTIL AFTER WE WERE ENGAGED! PAST THE AGE OF 24!

(And damn proud of it, considering how hot my husband is and how often I want him!)

So I was UNFAIRLY bashed/labeled by stuck up, (most likely) sexually-deprived, very wealthy Yuppies AND the rich, spoiled delinquents/ sexual promiscuous adolescents who were put in that school by their parents, because they were unbearable! (I'm still mad. I cherish my honor and had spent my life building a reputation I could be proud of, and being unfairly judged and condemned by such people...was infuriating!!!)

What was I saying????? I hear the blood flowing though my ears and I feel a certain bloodlust that comes with fury! (I kid on the "bloodlust")


Hum, after reading this post, I find an interesting correlation:

In the Northeast, I was unjustly, and non-verbally/underhandedly accused of being some sort of sex vixen.

While today, I was blatantly questioned on whether I had any friends who are "my own complexion."

(It's interesting how today's incident brought up my experience at my Husband's boarding school....)

Unsaid accusations....A question demanding an answer


Both are wrong, and put me in a defensive position.

Both are invasions of privacy.

Both are assumptions.

And both are coming from people of completely different backgrounds...but I think what connects both the snotty, filth-minded wealthy of that school...and the demeaning inquisition of the Black youth, was a lack of understanding about LOVE.

In BOTH situations, instead of immediately thinking: WOW! Those two much love each other, to face the everyday obstacles that come with an interracial relationship.....
They instead pervert our relationship: assuming I'm a "booty-call" instead of a virginal girl of strong morals...or they assume I shun those of "my own complexion" preferring the company of whites.

Although I still feel anger...for both of these situations...I also feel pity for these sorry creatures. Those blinded by greed and consumerism, so even their own offspring take a backseat...and those indefinably and perhaps irreversibly shaped by poverty and neglect, that they imprison themselves in a world with no hope of love.

I doubt neither will know the richness of a love that surpasses made-up borders.

Maybe my anger will wane with time...and I'll pray for them.

Maybe you can pray for me, to give me the strength to not be petty, but forgiving to those less fortunate, not having the riches of love.